That's the first thought that went through my head when I arrived to Israel and got my immigration papers.
So, like, do I find a job now? Do I start yelling at people? (you know, how Israelis usually speak) Do I start shooting at Arabs? Seriously, I had no idea what to do next.
Of course I was excited. I was finally able to do something I have been wanting to do since the age of 22. 7 fucking years in the making. The second I stepped foot in Tel Aviv during Taglit I knew I had to live here.
It was Shabbos. We had just finished exploring Rabin Square and walked over to the beach. Walking on the beach in 70 degree weather in the end of December, I couldn't have asked for more. People dancing on the boardwalk, beautiful people sunbathing and enjoying life. The spirit of the city was amazing. It was alive. I felt alive. More alive than I have ever felt. Tel Aviv, you had me at mirpeset.
I said to myself: I have to live here someday.
And.....here I am. Living in the center of Tel Aviv. I made (one of my) dreams come true. Don't be confused people. I didn't just drop everything and move to Israel (ok, well yes, I sort of did) but I did do a test run first. I'm not completely crazy.
In August of 2011, I went on a long term 5 month program that allowed me to live in Tel Aviv- acquaint myself with the city, with Israelis, with the culture, etc. Halfway through the program (and after numerous conversations with many people, including my lovely roommate, who I'm sure I drove nuts with all of my questions) I decided this was it: I'm making aliyah. This is the Jewish State and I need to be with my people. Like ACHSHAV.
Funny enough, around the same time I decided to make aliyah, I started seeing someone. An actual Israeli. Born and bred Sabra. And hot as hell. Over the next few months, the relationship began to develop into something beautiful- and unexpected. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever expect to meet someone I would actually (and eventually) fall in love with. Why? Because I was here on an extended 5 month vacation. I was here to have fun and see if Israel is where I wanted to be. But it was a beautiful surprise.
The program ended and I started to go through the aliyah process. I had to fly back to America to tie up loose ends and spend time with my family and friends. One friend I was looking forward to spending time with was my best friend, Alex. I was extremely happy living in Tel Aviv for 5 months but a piece of me felt empty, and it was Alex that I was missing. Needless to say, I was excited to return to NYC to spend quality time with him and continue the stupid shenanigans we always somehow got ourselves involved in.
The one thing I noticed was the lack of surprise from my friends when I told them I decided to make aliyah. All of my close friends were unmoved. Of course. Anyone who knows me or actually pays attention to what I have to say has already known that this is what I've wanted to, so basically this news was about as new as Lindsey Lohan getting arrested for a DWI. Everyone's reaction: Meh. OK. Have fun! When's your going away party?!?!?. Israeli people reaction to me making aliyah: WHAT?? WHY??? ARE YOU CRAZY???
My good friend in Israel, Oz, who happens to be my knight-in-shining-armor, (and the most amazing man on the planet) still finds it hard to understand how anyone can move to Israel. Oh, you Israelis. Always so humble and completely off of your rockers.
So I get to Israel, get to Oz's house (my place of residence for the next undetermined amount of time) and set up shop. I also make plans to see my boyfriend (who also happens to be returning from a trip) around the same time I came back to Israel. I hadn't seen him for 2 months. I cannot even relay to you how excited I was to finally see him. And see him I did. It was a sweet reunion. I couldn't have asked for anything better.
A few days later, however, he broke up with me. He had to go up to the North for work for the next 6 months and didn't think long distance was a good idea. Of course it wasn't. Who in their right minds has a long distance relationship? Worse idea ever. But it doesn't make it any better. I was completely heartbroken. One week later and I still am. Not feeling any better from the second he left. I suppose time heals all wounds and all that bullshit, but it doesn't make it any easier.
Good news is that I found an apartment that my friends and I want to live in. Sooner or later I suppose I'll have to find a job, but that's too much for me to think about right now. Baby steps. Hakol k'tstat b regel as I like to say.
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