Ch-ch-changes. Just gonna have to be a different (wo)man

Title above: Changes - David Bowie aka Ziggy Stardust. Song here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMQ0Ryy01yE&ob=av2e 

Mood: Happy :)
Music: Def Leppard


Man, how I love Bowie. Especially his Ziggy Stardust persona. Such a brilliant man. 


And....I have finally moved in! The apartment is beautiful and clean. And I enjoy every second of it. 


But along with a new apartment and roommates come changes. As I've mentioned in my previous posts, I suspected that I would have to make some internal changes in order to adapt to my current living environment. Living with people is difficult for me. I have lived by myself for most of my adult life, only needing to consider myself in making decisions and in doing certain things. Even small things....like making coffee. I live with friends, not with strangers. And we all want to live with a sense of togetherness. I can totally appreciate that. What does this mean? This means that if I make coffee for myself, I should ask my roommates if they want it too. This concept of "group consideration" is new to me. "What do you mean I should ask you if you'd like some coffee? Can't you fucking make some yourself?! You have arms!" Yeah, this is an example of how NOT to act when living with friends. 


And compromise. Compro-what? Yeah, I need to learn what that is also. On Friday, after spending an entire intense day with Neil and Oz from early morning till evening, I had to leave the apartment. I went to Rehovot to my family's house for Shabbos. I needed "me time". It was too much togetherness for me. So when I came back on Saturday afternoon, Neil and Oz decided it was time to clean the floors. Um. Yeah. I wasn't feeling it, so I told them I wasn't in the mood, went into my room and sat there. I know it sounds bitchy, but I wasn't in the mood to clean. I just wanted my own free time, not to be involved with any duties. Good news is that they didn't seem pissed. Bad news is that I guess I'll have to clean next time. Yes, that's what we call compromise. I guess I am learning. Damn it. :shakes fist in the air:


My roommates (friends) are important to me. I don't want to lose them or spoil our relationship. This doesn't mean I will completely devote my life to making them happy, but it does mean I need to let go of the "Tough Girl Sarah" persona I have learned to play so well. One thing living with Oz has taught me is that it's ok to let go. Now it's time to try. Who knows, maybe I'll actually be a different (wo)man, maybe even a better (wo)man. Time may trace me, but I can't trace time. :)